Melanie's Thoughts and Musings on Life

We have been setting up our home with Christmas decorations for the last several weeks. I searched and searched for a nativity set. I finally did get one, but it seems that Jesus being squeezed out of the picture entirely. Tonight we attended a live production of Charlie Brown's Christmas. Although it seems that every year our world gets further away from the true meaning of Christmas and the celebration of Christ's arrival on earth as a baby, Charlie Brown's Christmas has remained a favorite of children and adults alike.  I think people are searching for a deeper meaning in their lives- like there has got to be something more. Linus shares the passage from Luke Chapter 2 (the chapter where Jesus is born). I think it strikes a chord in us, that maybe there is more; and perhaps that is why Charlie Brown's Christmas has been played on television for 55 years. I also have been watching a lot of Hallmark movies. I love those, but the truth is, they are always about no...

There are so many things going on in my life right now; and I suddenly realized that it is time to re-evaluate my life and refocus. For a long time, I have lived the journey of a special needs parent. However, my son is growing up, and although he will have cerebral palsy for the rest of his life, he seems to be growing out of the complications of having CP. He no longer has yearly check ups or endless appointments for speech or physio or occupational therapy. The last year of my life has been a little chaotic. Last year, I decided to cease operation of the foundation. I quit my medical transcription job, and I decided to just rest. We went to Disneyland in January(2019) and bought a home in St. Albert in March (2019). Moving to St. Albert has been a great opportunity for our whole family, and we now are closer in distance to my sister and brother. So, I have had some time to rest, and refocus. Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine and we talked about people using the term ...

Hi Friends, Today I want to discuss something that has been stirring in my spirit for a while. I have been reading blogs from other special needs moms. Some people blog every day or every week regarding their special needs child or their experiences of parenting that child. I can't do that. I have a child with special needs, but I find that to talk about it all the time (or blog about it) is exhausting and emotionally draining. I have enough other stuff in my life that requires my attention that I can't just constantly write blogs about each moment of my parenting experience. I think often, we as parents isolate ourselves because we think that there is no one who understands our journey; let alone our children. I have also isolated myself. For many years I lived in a small city where there were no resources for my son, and I sat at home working at a stay at home job. I was not involved in any community events and I felt so isolated and lonely. The truth is, isolation is...

January 10, 2016 "To everything there is a season and a time, to every purpose under heaven." That's biblical, (Ecclesiastes 3:1) but it is also in a song called "Turn, Turn, Turn" by The Byrds from 1965. I was pondering that as I was reflecting on the changes that Courtland has went through and the things that I wanted to share with you in this post. My little boy, as many of you know, has a rare form of cerebral palsy. He is very functional and becoming more and more independent. As I write this I hear the song in my head again, "Turn, Turn, Turn." He is growing up, and I can't stop that from happening. So much of me wants to treat him like a baby- he is my baby, he is our only child. Yet, I am excited that he is wanting to do things on his own. For a long time because of disability, I did everything for him. I carried him around because he had mobility issues. I dressed him because he couldn't understand the steps necessar...

January 31, 2016 When I was growing up, whenever I would get angry about something, my mom would say "Don't be bitter, be better." That is good advice...(hard as it is to admit that my mom was right about something- now that I am older, I realize my parents weren't (and aren't) as dumb as I thought they were!) Like everyone, I have had my share of ups and downs in life. There is a choice in all of that... to let those experiences make us bitter or to let them mold us into being better. I want to choose the latter. When Courtland was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, I felt deflated. I was relieved to have a diagnosis, but I started to go through a lot of emotions like anger. That is a natural response and it is okay to be angry, but it is not a place to stay or to live. Life is not fair and for those of us who have a child with a disability, it's really easy to become bitter. We are bitter because our child doesn't walk and maybe we have...

September 2, 2016 (Written) Posted to Courtland's Hope Foundation Website-September 5, 2017 I wr ote this blog post at the beginning of the school year in 2016 and it is still applicable today, only today, my son is starting Grade 5!  I am a mom, my child has a disability. He is not defined by it-it is just a part of him. He is inspiring, he is fun... he loves life. I hurt. I hurt because I am a mom that would have loved nothing better than to have a child who didn't have to face challenges from the very start. He has had wonderful opportunities that kids his age often will never have. He has met a hockey player and been invited to an NHL game where he got to go to the locker room and came home with a pretty awesome souvenir, (a signed stick) from the player! He attended the F1 race in Montreal and got to see awesome cars and go to a swanky party where he was the only child- because he was the invited guest of a driver. I hurt. I hurt because I suddenly ...

February 8, 2016 Courtland is really academic. He knows a lot of information (lots of sports trivia) but he also is very hard on himself when it comes to school subjects. He has a spelling bee today. There are 40 words and before bed last night he said "What if I only get 38 out of 40?" I told him that would be okay. I don't require that my kid be perfect at school. I tell him that it doesn't matter how many he gets right, as long as he tries his best. It's almost like a competition to him (not just for the spelling bee- but in other subjects too). Because of Courtland's difficulty with motor function, he has an aide, and she often will scribe for him. If she is not doing that, he fails certain tasks (even if he knows the answers) just due to lack of motor function. He is much harder on himself than we will ever be. Then I got thinking.... Courtland does not often express his feelings about the things that he cannot do because of his CP. I think...