What is the Appropriate Word?

January 7, 2016

Recently a family member told me that before Courtland, he did not know that the term CP meant cerebral palsy, and/or what that means. Later in the conversation, he used the word "disabled" and said he did not want to offend me by using that word.

I suddenly realized that it is my responsibility as a parent to educate those around me about my child and his disability, because let's face it, most of us didn't know a lot of stuff about disabilities until we had a special kid. 

I think often as parents of a child with a disability or chronic condition, we see so many specialists that we get to know the medical jargon. We tend to forget that others around us don't know as much about it as we do.

It is our responsibility as parents to teach people about our kids. 

1. Learn how to explain your child's disability/condition in ordinary, general terms. If you have trouble, use Google or have a doctor explain to you in plain terms so that you may educate others.

2. Don't be upset when people ask what you deem to be stupid questions. I think people are genuinely interested in our kids, and we shouldn't be put off by their ignorance. I have read many blogs where parents were asked questions about their child, and their response was bitter and angry. Don't be that person! Explain with grace, and thank them for taking an interest.

3. Make sure in the conversation that you let people know the terms that are offensive or inappropriate. For example, I am offended when people refer to my child as handicapped or crippled, but the word "disabled" does not offend me at all. People need to know and understand these words/terms in order to get to know us and our kids. Often we build walls if our child is talked about in (what we deem to be) offensive terms. Let's learn to communicate and educate,  and in so doing, tear down those walls.