A Message from Jolene Philo

April 1, 2016

Women like Courtland’s mom, Melanie, amaze me. Her son was born in 2007, so she’s still actively involved in raising a boy with special needs. What amazes me is how she found the time to set up the Courtland’s Hope Foundation when her son was young and how she continues to make time to raise and distribute funds to kids and parents while raising her own family.

Her efforts amaze me because like Melanie, I am the parent of a child who was born with special medical needs. Like Melanie, parenting a child with special needs changed me. The experience gave me a heart for families whose lives are turned upside down after receiving a diagnosis. Like Melanie, I wanted to do something to help and encourage them.

But unlike Melanie, my desire lay dormant for many years after our son was born in 1982.  His first five years of his life were a revolving door of surgeries, tests, and procedures. My first five years of his life were a frantic jumble of sleep deprivation, desperate prayers, hospital visits, doctor’s appointments, and working my day job as it was the source of our health insurance. Our young family was so busy trying to get by from one day to the next, we didn’t have time to give back. Once our son’s health stabilized, my husband and I were exhausted. By my count, we needed approximately 2 decades to recover.

During those decades, my heart broke each time news came of a child being diagnosed with special needs. I wanted to buy an encouraging book to give them. One that offered assurance that they would make it and that God was in control of their child’s life even when circumstances seemed otherwise.

But no such book existed. For years, I prayed for God to call someone to write the book I wanted. Eventually, he answered my prayer. He called me. And through a series of events only He could have orchestrated, A Different Dream for My Child: Meditations for Parents of Critically and Chronically Ill Children  was published in the fall of 2009. The 60 devotions in it fall into 6 categories: receiving a diagnosis, hospital life, juggling two words, long term health conditions, losing a child, and raising a survivor. Each devotion ends with a prayer and reflection questions.

A Different Dream for My Child tells the stories of 15 families, including ours, and 3 doctors who treat kids with special needs. My blog for parents of kids with special needs, Different Dream Living, launched at about the same time the book was released. Since then, I’ve written 4 more books about special needs parenting, caregiving, special needs ministry, and PTSD in children. Plans are in the works for more books, too.

My opportunity to encourage parents began after my children were raised. I work at home, in a very quiet house while my husband is at his job. As I write and conduct research, I am continually amazed when I stumble across stories about young women like Melanie, Courtland’s mom, who find ways to advocate and encourage while in the thick of parenting their own kids.

I don’t know how moms like Melanie accomplish so much. But I’m glad they do. Thank you, young moms, for making the world of special needs parenting a less scaring and more encouraging place for families. I’m glad to be counted one of you…a few decades late.

 Jolene

Bio: Jolene Philo is the daughter of a disabled father and the mother of a child with special needs. After a 25 years as an elementary teacher, she left education in 2003 to pursue writing and speaking. She’s the author of several books about special needs parenting, caregiving, special needs ministry and her most recent book about PTSD in children. More information about them can be found at the book page of her website. Jolene speaks throughout the United States about parenting children and adults with special needs and post-traumatic stress in children. Her blog, www.DifferentDream.com, provides resources and encouragement for parents of kids with special needs. She also blogs about life on her dusty gravel road  at www.jolenephilo.com. Jolene and her husband live in Boone, Iowa and are parents to two adult children. They are known as Grammy Jo and Papoo to their three adorable grandchildren.